Victim or Victor Mentality?

Linda is a friend of mine and a successful business owner. She came to me with a problem. It was early in the year when tax forms are sent and Linda has about 30 independent contractors that work for her. One of her workers had just done her taxes and was very upset. She went to a national company to have her taxes done and had to come up with over $3,000 to pay her taxes. Additionally she was told she should have been paying quarterly and should start, which meant an additional quarterly payment was due. This was money she didn’t have. 

Her email blamed Linda for not informing her of her obligation to pay taxes and not letting her know she should pay quarterly. She went on to say that in addition to not having this money, she was not being paid enough (after Linda nicely gave her a mid-year raise when it wasn’t warranted) and was looking for a raise. She thought this would be a way for her to help pay her taxes. She continued on to say she considers herself one of the “working poor” and lamented having no health insurance, Obama Care etc. This worker had received a 1099 the previous the year and understood the tax consequences but worked many more hours in the current year so obviously she would have more tax liability.

The point of the above isn’t to debate the details but to discuss the psychological mind set of the worker. Her whole email was from a victim’s viewpoint. She blamed Linda for her having to pay more taxes, not informing her of that, not getting paid enough, not having health insurance and more. She blamed the government for now making her get insurance and not being able to afford it. Basically, everything was someone else’s fault. If I were consulting her, the main point I would try to get across is that her mindset is that of a victim. This particular person had her sight, her hearing, her health, her talents which includes a Master’s Degree. She has so many gifts and abilities that she could use to become successful. I would explain how lucky she is to have what many others don’t, and the fact that many people who’ve had setbacks and not nearly the talents she has, have risen to great success.

When problems and issues arise as they always do in daily life, remember not to adopt a victim’s mindset but adopt a victor’s attitude. Your approach to life is totally in your control.